Vampire Puns and Jokes

Vampire Puns: Find a collection of Vampire Puns and Jokes that will make you laugh.

Vampire Puns and Jokes

Why was the vampire feeling depressed? It had bat-tered self-esteem.

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite!

Why did the vampire go to the doctor? It was feeling a little drained.

What did the vampire say to the garlic bread? “You’re a little too toothy for me.”

What did the vampire say to the werewolf? “I’m glad we’re not howling at the same moon.”

Why was the vampire kicked out of the disco? It kept trying to bite the DJ.

What did the vampire say to the zombie? “You’re looking a little pale.”

Why was the vampire kicked out of the baseball game? It kept trying to steal home plate.

What did the vampire say to the victim it was trying to turn into a vampire? “I want to sink my teeth into you.”

What did the vampire say to the victim it was trying to turn into a vampire? “I want to make you one of my undead.”

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a doctor? A blood test!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a farmer? A blood orange!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a beekeeper? A blood-sucking bee!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher? A blood-thirsty grading system!

Why was the vampire kicked out of the library? It kept trying to check out the horror section.

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a lawyer? A bloodsucker in a suit!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a baker? A blood doughnut!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a chef? A blood souffle!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a barber? A blood haircut!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a plumber? A blood clot!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mechanic? A blood engine!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a dentist? A blood cleaning!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a gardener? A blood rose!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a florist? A blood bouquet!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a carpenter? A blood wood!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a painter? A blood canvas!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a musician? A blood guitar!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a comedian? A blood-thirsty punchline!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a librarian? A blood book!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a photographer? A blood-sucking snapshot!