Joe Dirt Quotes

Joe Dirt Quotes: Find some of the famous funny Joe dirt quotes and Sayings.  

Joe Dirt is a comedy film that is written by David Spade and Fred Wolf. The comedy film tells the story of Joe Dirt who goes to find his parents that abandoned him a long time ago.

With a number of humorous sayings and quotes throughout the film, today we are going to look at some famous Joe dirt quotes.

Joe Dirt Quotes

And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandi was looking up at that same moon.

But I’m picking it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say.

If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

What’s that? Kid, give me a break now.

Life’s a garden, dig it?

 

My name is Joe Dirte, I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool.

Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?

Things are gonna happen for me, I’m Joe Dirt.

You’re gonna stand there, ownin’ a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistlin’ bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don’ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin’ kitty chaser?

They’re large and in charge and lookin’ for chickies

Best Joe Dirt Quotes

Actually it got towed away two years ago.

I got the poo on me!

Well that might be your problem, it’s not what you like, it’s the consumer.

 

Keep on, keepin’ on

If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I’m number one. Rule number two, the croc’s number two.

So your gonna’ tell me that you don’t have no black cats, no roman candles, or screaming mimis?

You guys got somethin’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mike right here. Check one two, testing, testing.

So you’re gonna tell me that you don’t have no black cats, no Roman Candles, or screaming mimis?

Oh come on, man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?

Joe Dirt Sayings

And you’ll be sticking your head out the window and check out chic dogs saying ‘what’s up, baby?

I’m a rocker through and through. Here’s a list of my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Leppard.

Luckily, my neck broke my fall.

Now, this ain’t no flapjack, so I’m gonna be real careful, I won’t look.

Right on. You’re Joe Meteorite and I’m Joe Dirt.

That shit’ll buff out.

This croc ain’t no puppy.

When bad pets go bad, dang.

You like to see homos naked? Guy likes to see homos naked, that doesn’t help me.

Hey man, you done with that apple core?

Maybe if it came out of Charlene Tilton’s ass I’d take a bite.

Can I push him off me

Is that right? You think that’s queer? Is this queer?

No, that can’t be. That’s not what it is.

Uhhh, no, that’s a space peanut