Funny Birthday Wishes, Messages, Sayings, and Quotes

Funny Birthday Wishes, Messages, Sayings, and Quotes: Searching for Funny birthday quotes for cards, notes, letters, Facebook, Whatsapp, text message, and emails? You are on the right page.

Today we are going to look at a collection of Funny Birthday Messages, wishes, and Quotes that you can use or tell someone.

Choose the one that most inspires you.

Funny Birthday Wishes

They say take every birthday with a grain of salt. I say take it with a whole bunch of salt, and bonus points if it accompanies a very large margarita. Make yours a double. Happy birthday!

It’s so great that my crazy really vibes with your weird. Happy birthday!

Birthdays are a lot like golf…it’s a lot more fun if you don’t keep count. Happy birthday!

You recognize the fact that you’re getting older when the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

Happy Birthday to the boy who was found on the road and picked up by my parents. Wish you all the good things in life, brother!

Even with your ripe old age, you’re still the best friend someone could ask for. I’ll get the prune juice ready though.

I wish you all the best for another 100 years here on earth!

Read: Birthday Wishes for Old Friend

Funny Happy Birthday Wishes

May you live to be so old that the very sight of you terrifies babies and ex-lovers. Happy birthday!

It’s your birthday? Let’s get up to some mischief!

I promise this card isn’t late. It is intentionally arriving after your birth-day because I think you deserve a whole birth month. Happy Birth-month!

You are the epitome of stupidity and a living legend for annoying people. Bad luck for me that you are my brother. Happy Birthday!

Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you.

Happy Birthday, but what’s your secret; a time machine or something.

Funny Birthday Messages

Forget about the past you can’t change, the future you can’t predict, and definitely forget about the present because I didn’t get you one. Happy birthday!

You know, they say that age is really all in the mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body.

Happy birthday! Don’t forget to iron that birthday suit.

I thought of getting you as many flowers as your age, but we don’t have enough space to keep so many flowers at home.

I know this card is late, but in my old age, my memory isn’t what it used to be…

Short Funny Birthday Wishes

Friends celebrate friends on their birthdays. Real friends get you drunk on your birthday. Good thing for you I’m the second kind.

It takes a long time to become as young as you are. Happy birthday!

Good thing I found you! Because to be honest, I think we both know you couldn’t find glasses if they were on your face girly. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.

Happy birthday. It took you [insert age] years to look this good!

Funny Birthday Greetings

Happy birthday! I’m really glad you were born today. My life would be so totally boring without you there to watch.

Happy birthday to a lifelong friend! I can’t wait until we’re old enough to be terrorizing the senior home nurses together!

Happy birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You look like a monkey. And you smell like one too

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

They say you lose your mind as you grow older… what they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it much!

Sarcastic Birthday Wishes

To an amazing friend on their birthday, my only regret is not meeting you sooner so I could have annoyed you longer. Happy birthday!

Don’t think of it as getting older; think of it as becoming a classic.

A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.

You may not be able to fold a fitted sheet, but otherwise you’re pretty cool. Happy birthday!

They say that birthday cocktails should be replaced with nutritional smoothies at your age. Thank goodness we never listen to what they say.

Funny Birthday Quotes

You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. – Felix Severn

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday. – John Glenn

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. – Rev. Larry Lorenzoni

They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. – Author Unknown

Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese. – Billie Burke

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you’re exactly the same. – Audrey Hepburn

As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. – Norman Wisdom

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, Happy Birthday.- Steven Wright

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. – Kitty Collins

I have to remind people even though I turning 65 I am very much alive. – Byron Pulsifer

You know you’ve aged when you read events you lived in a history book. – Will Ferrell

Middle age is when a narrow waist and a broad mind begin to change places. – Author Unknown

We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. – Anonymous

Birthdays are a great time to stop and appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room so you don’t have to chase it. – Greg Tamblyn

Read: Birthday Wishes for Myself

Funny Birthday Sayings

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake. – Anonymous

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations. – Faith Baldwin

If you live to the age of a hundred, you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred. – George Burns

Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened. – Cora Harvey Armstrong

To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. – Bernard Baruch

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.- Jerry M. Wright

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed. – Anthony Powell

The Best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. – Lucille Ball

Quotes about Birthday Funny

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it. – Golda Meir

I hope that your birthday is the best it can possibly be for someone who can barely function in society.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – Jack Benny

When I was little I thought, isn’t it nice that everybody celebrates on my birthday? Because it’s July 4th. – Gloria Stuart

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. – Bob Hope

One compensation of old age is that it excuses you from picnics. – William Feather

When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents. – Blair Sabol

Happy birthday, babe! We’re such a great match because you hate celebrating your birthday, and I’m just too darn lazy to plan anything.

Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. – Tom Wilson

Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.

The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it. – Doris Day

Happy birthday to someone we’ll never have to say “died too young”.

Happy birthday to someone who’s age has finally surpassed their number of Twitter followers.

Happy birthday! We’re so glad we can count you among the living for another year.

Funny Quote for Birthday

Life would be infinitely better if we could be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18. – Mark Twain

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net. – Franklin Pierce Adams

“My Birthday!” What a different sound that word had in my youthful ear. – Thomas Moore

I was going to send you a paper card, but my Internet connection came back just in time for me to send you his message.

You’re not forty; you’re eighteen with twenty-two years experience. – Author Unknown

Of late I appear to have reached that stage when people who look old who are only my age. – Richard Armour

After 30, a body has a mind of its own – Bette Midler

You look 22, you feel like 18, you act like your 10, guess that makes you 50. Never change! Happy 50^th –  Author Unknown

Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning. – Bob Hope

Happy birthday! Let’s go see Jurassic World. It’ll make you feel less like a dinosaur.

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.  – Phyllis Diller

At 50 your work is almost done, and retirement sounds like fun. So enjoy your day while you can still play. – Catherine Pulsifer

When the candles on your cake burn down before they are all lite you know you are getting up there – Catherine Pulsifer

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. – Jim Fiebig

Wishing you a very happy birthday. You don’t look a day over whatever age you were just a few years ago.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. – Ogden Nash

If you survive long enough, you’re revered — rather like an old building. – Katherine Hepburn

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. – Groucho Marx

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed. – Charles Schultz

Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.